Thunderbowl Home of the 40mm board

Well I played my first two matches of the season and learned even though my dice luck has improved it seems it won't matter too much. My first match was against an Orc team Prognosis Negative and it went about as well as playing Norse against Orcs. By the end of the game the coach had inflicted 5 casualties including 2 deaths. I lost a Linedwarf and a Blitzer. Now this is the worst set back I have ever experienced starting a new team in a league setting. My worst set back being losing my entire human team to injury in preseason play and having to restart. I did not buy a Apothecary because I figured my AV 9 would give me more milage before injuries happend. I figured the worst would be a serious injury. While I rolled rather well for hitting I never got above a KO on the Injury table. I was dumb struck at the loses. Prognosis Negative ended up winning the game at 3 to 1; I also roled crap for winnings receiving only 20K.

My second match was against Grudge Match, an Underworld team. I was so thankful for this match-up after my loses. I figured that even if the underworld team managed to score some TD's I would make up for by putting the hurt on some goblins. As I have played an Underworld team before I knew what they were capable of. My defensive set up went well I think it was my dice rolling that let me down and ended up in a 1 nothing game after a few turns. Shortly after that I managed to pound the Goblins and some Skaven off the pitch and score some TD's. It turned out to be a good game for me making up for the horrible game 1 and I aquired 70K in money. A journeyman Linedwarf managed a casualty so I bought him instead of a Blitzer leaving me with 20K and I hope to earn enough for a Apothecary next match or if I can get lucky a Blitzer.

Endycarus , coach of Grudge Match, took his loss with grace. Had it been me I would have been visably sore but still managing a thankyou for the game. Then I would go off and brood like a teenaged vampire. I hate it when the bad luck comes down hard but sometimes that is just material for good gaming stories. I like Bloodbowl even though I lose about 60% of my games and I will continue to like it for a long time. Its fun even when it hurts.

With the Excelsiors called back to Eataine to repel a recent Dark Elf invasion, Head Coach Endycarus signed a temporary contract to coach an obscure collection of Skaven and Goblins called Grudge Match. They played their first match against upcoming Lizardman team Pax Britannia last night. We had the rare opportunity to listen in on the coach's side of a long distance communication with Excelsiors quarterback Kolrith.

"I'm sorry to hear that. That's got to be quite a blow."

"Well, obviously it pales in comparison to defense of the homeland. Anyways, I don't really want to talk about it."

"Ha. No, it's not that they're uncoachable; it's more like they're allergic to the ball."

"Actually, the casualty count was better than your game against the Incredibles last season."

"Yes, of course I realize the difference between an experienced Orc team and a bunch of rookie Lizardmen. I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, I know. It seems like every troll the Excelsiors have ever played against was a genius. Retribution did nothing but drool for most of the game. The stormvermin are good, though. Well, were good, in the case of the dearly departed Vengeance."

"Threw an amazing hit, then tripped over his tail trying to get to another skink. Took a pretty serious concussion, just like you did last season, but he could have had plenty more productive years with the right treatment."

"No, there was no 'setback'. The damned apothecary killed him. On purpose."

"I can't prove it, but I heard him grumbling about all the 'work' it takes to keep a Skaven in game condition once he's had his bell rung once. Next thing I know, there's a smell of cooking coming from the locker room and he walks out with a bowl of some kind of rat soup."

"Yeah, I hope you give those Corsairs the boot quickly. I don't think I can get through two seasons of this."

Hammerburg, Dermany: In a game that was so clearly one sided immediately after the Boots opened the scoring at 1-0, where the Malicious Intent pounded the Boots into the ground for 2 halves and claimed the lead for a score of 2-1 by end game, the Boots managed to wiggle out a tie with 6 players on the field with a little help from their fans. Ernst Redrohm, Das Boots only remaining veteran lineman, has this to say shortly after scoring the game equalizer:

"We were simply getting murdered out there all game. Our team hasn't seen a beating like that since we played the Scandinavian Superstars. Oskar and Alfred knocked out for the game early, Pummels and Storm are day to day, and Mauler taken out in a body bag. It was vicious out there today. But our team never backed down. Big Dolf and Franzie continued to hammer the ball all game despite our squad being reduced to 6 players by games end."

"We made a lot of mistakes in our defensive plays that cost us ground and cost us the game early on. We were up 1-0 straight away, and then what appeared to be a down and out loss of 1-2. If it wasn't for the intervention by our home fans at the end of the game, and the officials rolling the clock back, we would not have been able to tie the match 2-2. Our fans saved us a loss this game and so we thank them."

In the post-game interview when asked what happened during the match, General Jason has this to say:

"They played like bums. Some Dark Elf festival involving polka and beer was going on over the weekend and those guys were all a beer bigger walking into this game. Our positioning was off, our blocks were weak, and as their (Malicious Intent) hits were the complete opposite this began to snowball which left us down 1-2 and half a dozen players left to go by last play."

"What Ernie, Big Dolf, Franzie, Hans, Magda and Ernst did in the final stages of that match was what I'd been looking for all game. Rohmy, Ernie and the fans pull out a tie which clearly should have been a loss. I'm hoping once they sober up a bit more that they remember what went right in the beginning and late stages of the match and try to apply that to the whole game. But in their defence, those pink knuckledusters that the Malicious Intent players were wearing were giving us problems all game. I'm curious if they are regulation."

"Our next match is the Ratpack. I would have liked to have had a larger squad against the Rats, but the Boots will just have to scramble with what we have - which we've been doing all year, and hopefully continue to stay in contention for the Thunderbowl Play-offs."      

After doing much soul searching (tasty innocent ones are hard to find), Beastiality coach Warpstone has decided not to sacrifice his entire team on the altar of Slaenesh in order to reverse their uninspiring play. Instead, he intends to sacrifice his underperforming veterans on the line of scrimmage!

Yes, after much looking for a scapegoat, Warpstone has decided the problem is with the players and not himself. "I've given 3 seasons of my expertise to these losers," said the fuming Warpstone, " and I want to see results or blood!" Underwhelmed by the performance of his so-called stars, the Chaos Pact coach is now desperately hoping a radical shift towards developing rookies and letting veterans "take one for the team" will help turn around the team's record losing streak of 3 terrible matches. "I'm not going to make the same mistake as BaAl Davis. I'd sooner scrub this season and the next then pretend like this status quo is good enough to ever make the Thunderbowl finals. #$!@ 'em all and let Nuffle decide if this franchise still has legs for another season!"

Sitting at 40 LP after 5 games, Beastiality find themselves far off the pace to qualify for the Thunderbowl for the second season in a row. "We basically need to win 4 out of our remaining 5 matches to have any control over our destiny," added the troubled coach. If failure continues it's rumoured that Warpstone will actively sacrifice on the pitch while recruiting a new team for next season. It seems he's already interrupted his nightly regimine of debauched perversions to hold clandestine talks with prospective Undead, High Elf and even Vampire rookies.