Thunderbowl Home of the 40mm board

Coach Subhedgehog of the Cult of Cthulhu convened a press conference at the ticket booth of the 40 Grinders home stadium, where he was purchasing large lumps of tickets for what he believed was the upcoming match against the Rrinnhasha Rams. "Myself and a few thousand loyal thugs, cut-throats and murderers who know what's on the line are throwing our unequivocal support behind the Rrinnhasha Rams, as we have learned by augury that the Great Old Ones favour them."

The Rrinnhasha Rams final two opponents, 40 Grinders and Grayson's Grunters, stand poised to possibly overtake the Cult of Cthulhu in the C-League standings unless the Rams can secure wins against each of them. When informed that the Rams would likely bump the Cult down in the rankings if they won their last two games, coach Subhedgehog became violently angry. Shouting "SCREW THOSE GUYS ANYWAYS! We'll make sure no one wins!" the coach began attempts to start a riot and break into the stadium.

Book makers are not sure what to do with the news that the Cult of Cthulhu is actively trying to sabotage at least three matches, some of which have already been played. This reporter caught up with Lown Shaarck, notable odds maker, and interviewed him while placing his usual bets on the Vermillion Dread.

"This sort of outside interference is normal just before the playoffs. What we don't know is just how much clout the Cult of Cthulhu really has with fans. They haven't been all that effective on the pitch, but do have a fair amount of money in the treasury to hire hooligans, vandals and ne'er-do-wells."

Coach Subhedgehog, still attempting to lead a mob into the 40 Grinders stadium despite attempts by the stadium staff to inform him that he had missed the match by a few days, was unavailable to comment on Lown Shaarck's remarks. It is expected that the Cult of Cthulhu will put out a league boilerplate standard death threat against him, bringing Lown Shaarck's current total to an unlucky 13 this season alone.

The Cult of Cthulhu held a press conference that was sparsely attended - no doubt due to the mix-up betwen press passes and consent-optional cult recruit badges. Seemingly pleased by the lack of a pressing media scrum, Coach Subhedgehog addressed those in attendance.
"The FN Givers have remained unbeaten until now, but all this will change in week 5, when they face the glorious Cult. All hail Father Cthulhu! Our victory goes to honour your be-tentacled visage!" intoned the coach.

When informed by this reporter that the Cult of Cthulhu's scheduled week 5 match was against the Warp Stone Engineer's "Run, Run! Score, Score!", Subhedgehog responded "Who?" This reporter filled the uncomfortable silence that followed by asking the coach to describe the Cult's plan to deal with the rat-men's mobility. "We shall enact the plan that Man Was Not Meant To Know," whispered Subhedgehog

The press conference was called to a close with a mandatory tasting of Roofie's Sleepy-Timez Adult Beverage®, which this reporter avoided by swallowing his notes and hiding in the bottom of the stadium latrine.

Coach Subhedgehog of the Cult of Cthulhu had a lot of answers (some would say excuses...) regarding the Cult's first loss of their Thunder Bowl history. "We have identified the reason why our players were completely unable to regain their senses during the first three quarters of the match. Apparently a product representative of Roofie's Sleepy-Timez Adult Beverage had gained unauthorized access to our dugout by disguising herself as our half-time sacrifice. Thankfully, our half-time sacrifice pleased the Great Old ones, and they soon roused our fallen. Unfortunately, our half-time sacrifice did not please our dark masters enough, as we failed to secure the win." When asked what changes to stadium security would be enacted, Coach Subhedgehog said they'd "kick the ass of anyone who tried any 'funny business'".The press conference was brought to an abrupt end after Brother Aphoom-Zhah assaulted a reporter, repeatedly bleating "FUNNY BUSINESS!" and cackling with evil glee while force-feeding the hapless newsie's notebook down his throat. In other news, the Cult have generously provided a sponsor for their week 5 opponents, Run, Run! Score, Score! Roofie's Sleep-Timez Adult Beverage will be providing the half-time refreshments for the rat-men. What good sportsmanship!

The Elvz from the Hood opened the season with a win but have lost every match since.  At this rate, they are guaranteed an Underbowl seat and a chance to defend their title as the biggest loser.

After a narrow (2-1) loss to the Short and the Restless, the Elvz bombed their next two matches in 3-1 loses (Aztecas and Ulthuan Lords), and barely showed up at the next two matches with a pair of 3-0 loses (Triple Skulls and Power Slaves).

Furthermore, the Elvz have continued to dispute accusations of doping.  With more and more players missing matches for liver-damage related problems, the team has officially said "there's just a couple players (about 6 to 8 of them) who have alcohol problems and we're working with the players to re-integrate them into a healthy training schedule."

The coach has stated "we remain optimistic that in our remaining matches we will get into the playoffs and we may have a low seed this season, but we're going to win.  No price is to high, we're prepared to face the certain mauling and probable death of every one of our linemen."

- Arch

The Elvz from tha Hood have been playing like it's the off-season still splitting their first two games.  No turn-overs, win one, lose one, and not a single player has advanced.

Game 1 was some hot High Elf on High Elf action.  The Elvz and the Etaine Excelsiors were playing touch-football.  It was a 4-3 victory for the Elvz so lots of playing with the ball for both teams.  Neither side lost an offensive drive despite a couple minor bobbles.  The excitement of the match came when Krafty Kerr scored his 50th career completion!

Game 2 had the Elvz pitted against the Short and the Restless.  Once again, both teams scored on their drives with no upsets, just at a much shorter pace than the Etaine Excelssiors.  Coach archnaaaagle once again forgot that Troll Slayers are total bitches and positioned Tom tha Bomb too close to the line.  Well, into the crowd he went.  The players were not too happy about this screw-up and during the first half injured one troll slayer and Hideous Hugh murdered the other.  Nurgle Crusher kept knocking Hideous Hugh over and Hideous kept getting back up and pounding him right back until he finally got fed up and tombstoned him.  When asked about that fatal tackle at half-time, Hideous said "what goes around is all around!"

Next match will be the recently hobbled Aztecas.  It's looking like it's going to take about 350K to induce the Aztecas onto the pitch.  Several players have started showing a lot of promise in practice so we're anticipating rolling 2 or 3 strength increases at the end of the match :D

- Arch